Some secrets are better kept secret
by BradenIsMyMonkey
Summary: But in the end, all it takes is one gear to lower his guard and a group of Revengencers to ruin everything.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Metalocalypse nor do I make any profit from anything here.

Title: Some secrets are better kept secret (1/2)

Character(s)/Pairing: Nathan/Charles, Dethklok

Summary: But in the end, all it takes is one gear to lower his guard and a group of Revengencers to ruin everything.

AN: For the Secrets are Brutal theme over at the BrutalBusiness community on LiveJournal.

...

Nathan never had much luck in the dating department, or the love department for that matter. He was brought up being told that he was expected to meet a girl, marry her and reproduce. But Nathan always knew he didn't want a family, not in the way he was expected to have one. He knew he liked girls, but deep down as a child he knew girls weren't the only gender that caught his eye.

Unfortunately, homosexuality in his family was a big no-no. Bigots and homophobes on both sides of his family 'scared him straight', at least on the outside. On the outside he dated girls, if they could stomach him, and brought them home so his parents wouldn't be disappointed in him.

But then he became famous and the dating became easier. Girls threw themselves at him left and right, but it was still not what he wanted. He knew what, or rather who, he wanted the moment Pickles brought the newly formed Dethklok to a "real cool lawyer dood."

Nathan never acted on his feelings, though. He knew, at the time, that the band was too young and unknown to deal with any drama like that. At least, that was his excuse to justify his lack of trying.

Deep down Nathan was just scared to be rejected by the one person he truly felt something for. Sure it hurt when all the women he dated cheated or left him but he never really cared about them to begin with.

So Nathan had sat in the metaphorical corner and admired from afar. He reasoned that when the time was right he would tell his manager how he really felt.

The attack at Mordhaus really shook him up. Before he knew it the entire building was on fire, some crazy chick was hitting on him and then hitting him, and some psychopath was beating up Charles.

Charles, who was pronounced dead a couple of hours after he was taken away in a helicopter from the burning wreckage that was their home. Nathan remembered sitting in a safe house that had been prepared for just such an occasion, with the other band members all huddled around the largest couch. Waiting for news, any news, about their manager. Being told the time of death over a telephone was mind numbing. It was worse knowing that Nathan would never even get a chance to tell Charles the truth, or even find some clue that he felt the same.

Nathan hadn't felt that horrible since those months of his mothers non-stop crying when he dropped out of high school.

Life went on, months passed and Nathan realized how badly he really needed Charles. He was the reason the band stayed afloat, but most of all Charles was the only person who could fill the empty spaces in his heart.

By the time the concert came around Nathan was ready to sign the contract. He felt bad about letting his band down but he did all he could. He was no Charles, and the one and only Charles was gone.

But out of no where, like a sign from above, there he was. Standing in the doorway with no suit, a scar on one side of his face, and breathing.

For a while, him being back was good enough for Nathan. One month passed, then another. Things started to go back to normal around Mordhaus. They were no longer in debt, the label were no longer on their backs, and Charles was there.

Nathan promised himself he would summon the courage to tell Charles . He was tired of pretending he was content with just sleeping around with all the groupies. His dating life was going no where, and he knew he had bad luck dating women because he didn't want to settle down and date a woman. In fact, he was pretty sure he didn't even want to do all that with a man. What he did know, was that what he wanted was Charles, and only Charles.

With a few bottles of liquid courage coursing through his veins, three months after his return, one whole year after his initial death, Nathan marched into Charles's office. He went straight up the man, pulled him out of his office desk chair and crushed his lips to his. It was unplanned, unexpected, sloppy and to Nathans surprise almost immediately reciprocated.

Suddenly, Nathans dating and love life didn't seem so unlucky anymore.

/Time Skip/

For once, the current Dethklok tour was going as schedule with almost no casualties. Sure, there was a fire backstage and a loose light fixture, but during the entire tour the death count was still in the twenties and that was a miracle in of itself. With only one more concert before heading back to Mordhaus for a well deserved vacation, Nathan was very pleased with the turnout.

The large tour bus drove on throughout the night as it was bombarded with rain and swift winds, but on the inside it the area was calm and relaxing. The band members were scattered around the bus, Toki and Murderface playing video games together in the living area, Pickles bothering Jean-Pierre for more munchies, and Skwisgaar in his living quarters practicing his ever present guitar.

Nathan, on the other hand, was sitting in one of the extra chairs in the on bus office Charles had, while Charles finished up last minute tour details before the last show. Neither of them said a word, each concentrating on whatever they were doing. In Nathans case he was busy writing down some ideas for future songs that had come to him. It had been over a year since they had started being exclusive to each other, and being able to be near the other without talking was something they cherished.

By the end of the night Nathan and Charles retired to the room they shared with each other. The two of them collapsed onto the large bed together, whispering sweet nothings and promises into each others skins. Nathan never knew what true love felt like until he was with Charles, and he was certain nothing would split them apart again.

When morning arrived, both men woke earlier than planned. With no need to leave their bed Nathan gathered Charles into his arms, both still naked, enjoying the quiet moment they had before the final concert that night.

"I can't wait to get home," Nathan muttered, voice still sleep heavy. He felt more than heard Charles hum in agreement.

Nathan turned Charles over so the two of them were looking in each others eyes. "Hey. I know its not, you know, metal, but. I..." Nathan quickly averted his gaze, a slight blush forming on his cheeks before quickly muttering, "I love you."

Charles smiled, reaching one hand to tuck some loose hair behind Nathans ear. "I love you too Nathan." Smiling, Nathan captured Charles in a kiss while flipping them so he was hovering over Charles. In Nathans mind, it was the best way to spend a morning.

Eventually the two made their way to the bathroom, showered and dressed. With one last kiss they each went their separate ways.

Nathan met up with the rest of his band for breakfast, taking a seat at the table next to Pickles. The five of them set about eating their food with pleasant conversations ranging from possible last minute set changes for the show to what brand of jerky was the best to bring camping.

The band knew about Nathan and Charles, and had excepted it in their own ways. Nathan was secretly glad that none of them rejected him for his relationship. Murderface was the only one that actually took a while to accept it. Skwisgaar shrugged it off saying he wasn't one to judge who someone slept with, Pickles told Nathan love was love and he was happy for him, and Toki said now the band was even more like a family. Murderface, on the other hand, had to get over his own insecurities before he eventually accepted.

Nathan would never tell them, but he cared what they thought of him. They were his friends, family and everything in between.

After the peaceful breakfast the rest of the day became more hectic. The bus had arrived at the venue for the final concert by mid-morning, as was scheduled, and the rest of the day consisted of rehearsing, setting up, safety proofing the area, and much more. Nathan rarely saw Charles during the day of concerts except for a few stolen kisses while they passed each other from point A to point B or when Charles needed to inform the band of safety regulations for that venue.

This concert was just like any other concert. Nothing special, just the last before a break in touring. Everything was going as planned. There were no security breaches, no suspicious attendees, no accidents whatsoever. With the concert almost over, one song left, Nathan honestly thought everything was going to be okay. That once he was done he could exist this stage and find Charles and finally take some time to just be with him on a much needed vacation.

But in the end, all it takes is one gear to lower his guard and a group of Revengencers to ruin everything. The blasts started from somewhere in the middle of the crowed but they were big. Body parts were flying in all directions and screams of pain rivaled Nathans powerful voice. For a brief moment the five on stage just stopped, looking at each other with worried glances. Nathan was the first to react, motioning them to leave the stage and fast.

More explosions were going off and each one was closer to the stage than the last. Nathan was the last to exit, making sure the others were off before him, and while he was a few feet away a large blast came from behind. Looking back he watched as the stage erupted into flames before the floorboards flew every which way from the blast.

"Nathan! Get to the bus now! Go!" Nathan barely heard Charles over the ringing in his ears and the shouting coming from behind him. Seeing the fire behind him reminded him of the attack on Mordhaus and for one split second Nathan felt something tug in his chest. Looking over to Charles he made the decision to grab him as he started running towards the bus while the others followed.

After an initial argument that he was better suited dealing with the situation out where it was happening, Charles relented and eventually convinced Nathan to let him scout up ahead. So Nathan let go of Charles as he wished him luck as he made sure their way to the safe bus was secure.

With the five of them, making it out of the building was slow going. They could still hear the explosions going off and they could feel the reverberations in the walls and floors. Smoke had started filling the hallways from the fires, and before long Nathan had to practically carry Pickles out into the fresh air because he could barely breathe without coughing.

But they made it out and the tour bus was only a couple yards away. All around the bus were their equipment and other such electronics that had yet been packed up and put on the bus. Next to the a bunch of amps that were not needed for the concert was Charles who started motioning for the band to hurry as he yelled into his phone for the driver to be ready to depart the moment Dethklok was on board.

Nathan let Pickles go when he wheezed out that he could run the rest of the way on his own, and started to move faster towards the bus and Charles. A red blinking light abruptly started shining near the equipment and suddenly Charles was cursing and yelling for them to get back.

A white light then a loud noise and suddenly Nathans world was spinning. The explosion wasn't as large as the ones inside the venue, but it was still an explosion. Metal and debris flew everywhere and by some stroke of luck the members of Dethklok managed to get down in time to only suffer a few cuts and bruises. Without even thinking Nathan, who was half blinded from flying dirt, shouted as loud as he could while pointing towards the bus.

The others thankfully got his message, or figured it was the safest place to be, and made their way to the bus as quickly as they could. Nathan, on the other hand, was frantically searching for Charles. There was a cloud of dirt and debris everywhere making it hard to see anything at all but Nathan refused to give up. He refused to believe Charles was gone. He survived the attack on Mordhaus, he would survive this.

When Nathan started becoming hysterical he saw what appeared to be a body lying on the ground. Without thought he picked the body up and made his way onto the bus, quickly shutting the door behind him. The tour bus, having suffered only external damage to it's metal exterior, did as it was instructed and made its way out of the danger area the moment all of Dethklok was on board.

Entering the living area Nathan placed the body on the nearest couch, yelling for someone to get him help. His vision was starting to clear and he looked around at the other four yelling at them to get help for Charles and to stop just standing there. Toki was the first to step forward, hands shaking, and eyes looking not at him but at Charles.

"Na'tens? What ams wrong wits Charlies?"

Tears started welling up in Nathans eyes, fearing that if he turned to look at his lover he would find him already beyond any hope of surviving. Instead, when he turned to look he saw something he couldn't believe. There Charles was, struggling to sit up, body cut open and bleeding.

Except that wasn't blood coming out of his wounds. It was oil.

In the silence of the bus, Nathan could hear the sound of gears turning and wires sparking. The more Charles tried to sit up the worse he made his wounds. A good majority of his suit was burnt, the rest torn from the debris that hit him from the explosion. The more he struggled the more his cuts opened, exposing more and more wires and metal framework.

Exposed wires that had been severed started to spark and by the time Charles got himself into a seated position it was apparent, now more than ever, that whatever this thing was it was not human. The thing no longer wore Charles's glasses, its once hazel eyes flashing red. The entire left side of its face was melted off, exposing a robotic skull and more turning gears and wires. Its body twitched at random, and with each jerk of an arm or leg a spurt of oil would leak from the orifices littered on its body.

"What the fuck is going on?" Nathan couldn't look away from the thing on the couch. The thing he supposedly in a relationship with. Nothing was making sense anymore, but he couldn't leave. Not yet. Not before he knew the truth.

"It's not what you. What you. What you think." The band listened in horror as their once manager tried to reason with them. Its voice sounded the same, but with a more mechanical rasp to it, and its head twitched each time it repeated as if its vocal cords were skipping. "I can explain. I could, I could not tell you before, before."

"Why?" Nathan took a step closer to the couch, needing to know the truth. Everything felt like a lie, and for a moment his world stopped turning. His mind flashed back to the past year of being with Charles and everything felt like a lie. Everything they did together, everything they told each other. It all felt wrong.

Choking back what he would never admit to being a sob, Nathan felt his heart rip in half. This felt worse than when all the women he dated left him, when his mother cried over him when he dropped out, every time he disappointed someone, and when he thought Charles was dead combined. Looking down at his hands he realized they were shaking, and he never felt so alone in his entire life than right then.

A loud buzzing and crackling coming from the couch brought him out of his head and back to the thing that called itself Charles.

"Because Nathan." Sparks flew out of the broken wires sticking out of its neck and oil started to pool around its body, staining the couches fabric. Pretending to be blood. "You were never suppose to find out."

TBC

Part two to come within the month with more Robo!Charles, and perhaps a second secret?


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Metalocalypse nor do I make any profit from anything here.

Title: Some secrets are better kept secret (2/2)

Character(s)/Pairing: Nathan/Charles, Dethklok

Summary: But in the end, all it takes is one gear to lower his guard and a group of Revengencers to ruin everything.

AN: ENJOY! :3

XxX

"How long?" Nathan all but screamed. He was beyond caring at this point. The man he loved, who had supposedly loved him back, wasn't even human.

"I was acti-activated one week prior to making my appearance to you. To you. At the concert nine months after the Original was harmed." The oil was finally starting to ease its flowing and the gears that were visible started slowing in their turning. Except for the occasional twitch of a limb and the tick of its head when its vocals skipped, the robot on the couch was slowly but surly shutting down.

But Nathan still needed answers. If what it said was true, then the man he had gotten to know physically and emotionally for the past year wasn't the real Charles. He hadn't been the real Charles since the attack. Nathan felt sick. He felt worse than any hangover or flu he ever had. With shaking hand he clutched onto his skull, pulling his hair in frustration and confusion.

It wasn't fair. It just wasn't. The first real relationship that was real, that meant something more than just getting his rocks off, and it was with an imposter. Nathan couldn't see straight, his vision wavering and blurred with all the emotions he couldn't stop from surfacing. He needed more answers before that thing shut down. He needed to know the truth.

"Did you even love me?" If his mind had been clearer, Nathan would have been proud of the fact that his voice didn't crack or waver.

"I was not programed to be able to fall in, fall in love. I am only able to do what I was programed to, to, to do." The ticks were getting worse. Time was quickly running out.

"Then why?" Nathan yelled, stomping one booted foot on the ground. A surprised gasp reminded him that the others were still in the same room as him but his green glare was still locked onto the fake Charles on the couch. "Why would you lead me on like that? Why?"

"I was programed to make and keep you five happy. It seemed logical. Logical that what made you happy was being with me. It was logical." Nathan watched as the fake Charles tried to give a reassuring smile, but with half its face melted down to its metal frame it came out more horrifying than intended.

Nathan balled his hands into fists as the now hung at his sides uselessly. He felt like such an idiot. He should have known better. He should have been able to tell the difference between the real Charles and the imposter one. Nathan was in love with Charles years before he was switched with a robot, so he should have been able to notice. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair.

Pain started to course throughout his chest. It felt as if his heart was bursting, and with one large hand he rested it over his heart, trying to put pressure on his over beating heart to try and slow it. Nathan felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Skwisgaar with Toki close behind him. On his other side he felt Pickles place his own comforting hand on his other arm, with Murderface hovering near as well. The pain eased somewhat, but it was still present.

"Time is running, running out. Nathan. Boys. The Original is. The Original is SYSTEM ERROR. Nathan. SHUTTING DOWN. The Origi..." The flashing red eyes flashed one final time before turning black, the turning gears stilled to a stop, and the sparking wires no longer gave off any electricity. The fake Charles was for lack of better words dead.

Nathan wasn't having any of it though. He needed to know what it was about to say. He needed to know what about the Original, the real Charles, he was trying to tell them. Surging forward, Nathan grabbed onto the burnt suit and started to shake the still body. Oil started to spray everywhere, staining his own clothes and skin.

He hadn't even realized he had started screaming until four sets of hands were dragging him away from the couch and trying to calm him down. But he didn't want to calm down. He wanted everything to go back to the way it was before he found out about the Charles he thought he was in a relationship with.

The pain in his chest started up again with a vengeance. His vision started to blur and he started to see black dots. Nathan dropped down to one knee heavily, clutching his chest once again with one hand. He was vaguely aware of Pickles talking on the phone for help and Toki's frantic screaming about a panic attack.

Then everything went black and Nathan honestly didn't know if he would wake up again. Not that he would have minded.

XxX

The steady rhythm of a heart monitor brought Nathan out of his unconsciousness. Sitting up, he carefully took out the IV he was connected to and got up on shaking feet. He felt fine. No, that was a lie. He felt numb.

Walking out of the small white hospital room he made his was down the hall towards the exit. He had been down these halls enough times due to the bands idiotic "adventures" that he could leave the hospital section and make it to his bedroom in the main building of Mordhaus blindfolded.

"Lord Explosion! Please, go back to your room." A hooded nurse, who had been on her way to check up on the front man, tried to steer Nathan back towards his room. Nathan had other plans and completely ignored the gear and continued walking despite her protests. By the time he made it out to the waiting area of the hospital wing he saw Pickles and the rest of the gang walking towards him with a change of clothes. Nathan made quick work of changing in the nearest empty room before going to meet up with the others only to find their usual doctor with them.

"Look, you just suffered a mild attack. It wasn't exactly a heart attack but it was still serious. You need to go back and rest. Lay off the drugs and alcohol for awhile and de-stress. I don't know what the hell happened after the attack, but whatever it was caused it. So just take it easy and no drinking. Or drink, since you never listen to me anyway. Whatever."

Nathan only listened to maybe half of what he said, and was already making his way out of the building before he even finished. The other four followed behind, not sure what to say or do. But Nathan kept walking, ignoring the slight tightness to his chest that wasn't there before last night. He didn't stop walking until he found himself standing outside the door to Charles's office. Reaching out, he tried to turn the knob only to find it locked.

He didn't move, only stared at the door as if his gaze alone would make it open.

"Hey, listen."

"I'll find him, Pickles. I swear I will."

"I know you will. 'Cause we'll help."

XxX

It had been months. Long, long months with no progress whatsoever. According to the gears, Charles was away on a business trip until further notice and was in fact keeping them in the loop with all his dealings. When asked to see the papers that Charles had sent them they had just told them that it was not their concern and that Charles would be back soon.

Nathan wasn't buying it, though. But most of the gears they had confronted had been the common gear that was replaced every couple of weeks. Yet, even when he had started going after the more senior gears and the scientists, they too feigned ignorance. The evidence of the fake Charles had disappeared in the frenzy of trying to get Nathan medical help and with no proof to back any of their words the gears all played it off as some drug induced hallucination.

He was starting to loose hope in ever finding the real Charles. He was starting to loose hope the real Charles was even still alive. In his mind he imagined he fake Charles telling him the Original was still alive somewhere deep underneath Mordhaus, still healing from the attack. Stuck in a coma trying to fight his way back to reality. Thinking this helped him sleep at night, in his large bed that feels a thousand times emptier now that Charles wasn't sharing it with him.

So during the months of trying to get the gears to answer his questions, he arranged for himself and the rest of the band to search every hall way and underground path in the building. They searched night and day for months until the others slowly gave up hope one by one until Nathan was the only one left. Until Nathan was the only one struggling to keep the last of his hope inside him.

He spent his days questioning gears and looking for Charles. None of the gears stopped him from looking. They all thought he was going crazy while "Charles" was away on business. But Nathan knew better than to believe them. They didn't see what he saw, or feel what he felt. So, he kept looking and he always made it a habit to stop by Charles's office and try the knob.

The knob was always locked, but then ten months after he found out the man he loved was really a robot, he turned the handle and the door swung open. Standing there, by the dust covered desk was non other than Charles.

Nathan stood in the doorway for a moment before taking a hesitant step forward. He wasn't sure if the Charles he was seeing was another sleep deprived hallucination, another robot, or the real thing.

"Nathan. I'm so sorry. It was just a prototype that wasn't ready to be in action. It had bugs and limitations and if I had known what it put you through I would have never authorized its use."

"Charles? It that really you? I don't. I," Nathan walked closer to Charles, reaching out to touch his face but pulled his hand back before making skin contact.

"After the attack on Mordhaus all those years ago, I was hurt really badly. I was taken away to heal but my wounds were too great and I fell into a sort of coma. Prior to the attack, I had been working with a group of scientists to create a robot in my likeness in case something like that had happened. By the time of the attack it was far from ready. By the time I finally awoke, I was informed about everything. I came back as soon as I was strong enough, sending in false reports to make the gears believe I was fine in the mean time."

Nathan let Charles place his hand on his arm, secretly marveling about how wonderful it felt to have Charles touching him again. He knew that this could still very well be another robot, but at least he knew he wasn't from his imagination.

"How do I know you're not just another robot?" He didn't want to be fooled again. His chest still had a lingering tightness that never went away and he couldn't handle another heart break. Nathan has had so many in his life, and having Charles again only to find out he was lied to again would kill him.

"I'm real Nathan. Trust me." Nathan watched as Charles pulled away and turned towards his briefcase that was on the desk. Turning back towards him, Nathan watched as Charles held up a sharp letter opener for him to see before bringing it to his palm and cutting into his skin. Blood dripped down from his hand. Blood, not oil.

Nathan tentatively reached out and took the wrist in his hand, bringing his other hand up to smear some of the blood onto his fingers. He was real, this was real blood. He had his Charles back, except not really.

"So, I guess they told you everything the fake Charles did, huh." Letting go of the other man, Nathan took two steps away from Charles. If they told him about the relationship he could only hope they could go back to the way things were before, back to when he was secretly in love with Charles and there were no robots or pain.

"The only thing I regret that the robot did," Charles took two steps towards Nathan, and Nathan swallowed nervously as he let Charles take both his hands in his own, "was that our first kiss was with him and not me."

"You mean, you. You know."

"Since the moment I first met you."

Nathan looked down at interlocked hands before releasing one to cup Charles's face and bring it towards his for a kiss. For the first time in months Nathan felt happy. The kiss felt right, it felt perfect. It felt real.

"Come on. Let's go find the others."

Nodding, Nathan followed Charles out of the office and down the hall towards the main room. The tightness in his chest finally ebbing away.

/Else Where/

"Our first mistake was thinking it was indestructible. We cannot afford to have another accident with this one. We need to strike now, while they are comforted by the familiar face they think is the real thing! We already got rid of the real man, why not bring down Dethklok now that we practically control it from the inside!"

"Patience General! It is still to soon. We must wait until the time is right. We must wait."

END

Hope you enjoyed this.


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